Bringing Community into the Long Term Care Picture

Twenty years ago when my grandmother was in her '80s, during those times when she wasn't getting her way, and wanted us to believe that she was momentarily forlorn, she would affectionately tease us with, "Just drop me off at the Imperial." The Imperial was your average, one story nursing home that didn't look very appealing from the outside. We don't know what it looked like, or lacked on the inside, because we never ventured in. My grandmother never did go there, because she died at home after 10 years of stumbling through the fog of Alzheimer's disease. Long term care facilities weren't foreign to me, however, because when I was four years old I used to accompany my dad on his routes to deliver medical equipment to the nursing homes. Sitting in the lobby of various skilled facilities, I saw it all - people in pain, noisy carts being pushed around, unpleasant smells and elderly people. Somewhere along the way, I chose elder care as my vocation.

Fast forward to today, and take a look around at what the world of long term care has to offer. The world 'facility' has been replaced by 'community', for all the right reasons. Having just returned from a wonderful event in Houston at The Plaza, which is the health care center for The Buckingham, a continuing care community, I'm happy to say that this experience was one more affirmation on how the the long term care arena is anticipating the needs of today's elderly.

The Plaza at The Buckingham, a Greystone community, is a good example of a health care center that stands ready as a resource for the community it serves. There are amenities that used to be unheard of for health care communities; valet service, a nursing staff that will gladly answer your questions when you call, even if your elderly parent isn't a Plaza resident. A swimming pool, beautiful foot paths, fireplaces, and dining rooms that resemble the finest restaurants.

Behind all the niceties is the community connection that is the heart and soul of The Plaza. Its people, both residents and staff, are the true core of the community. Look at some of the success stories. One resident who came to live at The Plaza because of her advanced stages of cancer has regained her hope for a long and healthy life. She has recovered enough to drive her car, and will soon move back home. Dorothy, the director of nursing, is another example of a person who has found her calling at The Plaza. Dorothy was already retired when she heard about The Buckingham opening its doors, and decided that she needed the challenge, and wanted to give back with her time and talents. Several of the team members are also caregivers to their own family members. There is no lack of quality or integrity with this staff.

Since The Buckingham and The Plaza are in the business of making people feel better, they have partnered with several like-minded organizations dedicated to education, research and possible cures for debilitating diseases. Nancy Tucker, the president of CanCare Cancer Support Network, introduced me and gave our audience a wonderful snapshot of statistics and hope regarding cancer survival. Photo at right - Cathy Lightfoot, The Buckingham; Nancy Tucker, CanCare; Cheryl Kuba, Aging Parent Solutions.
She also talked about how health centers can work hand-in-hand with caregivers, and ease the burden for those individuals who are battling cancer.

Health centers aren't for everybody. My octogenarian sailing friend, Reese Paley, talks about long term care communities as, "holding tanks for the truly old and decrepit." If an elderly family member has the physical capabilities and desire to stay in their own home, then that's were they should be. But, if they lack socialization, feel isolated, and need assistance with any segment of their activities of daily living, there are so many desirable care communities that stand ready to help.

Care centers don't have to be the end of the road. Short term stays for rehab, and for recovery are the perfect utilization of care communities. Respite care-short term stays- are one of the greatest gifts around. Use it in three ways;

1. As a trial to see if your elderly parent is comfortable there.
2. For a vacation. Maybe your parent can't ski the Rockies. They can spend a week at a care community. (They won't tell you this- but it's a vacation for them, too!) Or, if you are remodeling your house, use respite care for your relative. Don't subject them to the plaster dust and hammering.
3. As a time-out when you need a break. We could write another article about caregiver stress. Use respite care when you need it, and research it long before you need it.

First and foremost, involve your elderly parent in the decision. Don't encourage them to do anything they don't want to do. Do your homework, and check out the care community with your parent. They already know some of the residents. If possible, have your parent volunteer at the community to become more familiar with their programs. Bring your mom in to the center's spa for an afternoon of mother/daughter manicures and pedicures.

Do your homework. Ask the right questions. In "Navigating the Journey of Aging Parents" I have a full page of questions to ask. Don't be shy. If something is a concern as you tour the community, bring it up. Remember that this community is home to some very precious relatives.

Involve the rest of the family in the new care lifestyle. I've seen kids on their way to the prom, and bridal parties stop at a long term care community to include their grandparents in the special day. Many communities have a program called the Baby Brigade, where young mothers bring their toddlers in for the morning so that the older adults and little ones can bond. A lot of surrogate grandmas are born.

A big part of doing your homework is checking out a care community before you need it. Build the relationship as you go. Just like falling in love, it doesn't happen in one day. You have to educate yourself and the community has to earn your trust.

Be ready. There are some terrific resources out there. Get to know the community in your area. It's a blessing to know that they are there when you need the help.