Make Sure Your Parents Thrive - Not Just Survive. FAMILY WEALTH BUILDER E.ZINE

Feature Article: Make Sure Your Parents Thrive-Not Just Survive

Bill and Kirsten Update: Interview with Cheryl Kuba, MA, Senior Caregiving Expert.

We Recommend: Watch the following CNBC interview of Alexis Martin Neely to find out the five legal documents every person must have.

February 5, 2009

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This month I had the pleasure of interviewing Cheryl Kuba, MA, author, gerontologist, founder of Aging Parent Solutions, and former radio host for CARE radio on News Talk 560 WIND in Chicago.

I work with so many adult children who are struggling with their role as caregiver for their elder parents, and I knew that Cheryl would be able to offer you some tips to lighten the load. Even though Cheryl is an expert in solving senior caregiving challenges, she said that "working in the industry is like climbing an anthill, but working with my own parents was like climbing an iceberg."

Cheryl was responsible for the care management of her own parents during the last 7 years of their lives. Her mother had Alzheimer's disease for 8 years, and her dad was very frail. Her parents transitioned through independent living, retirement living, living with a caregiver, independent apartment with full time caregiver, nursing home, skilled care, and finally hospice!

According to Cheryl, she discovered that nobody had ever gone to the dependent elderly and asked them what they wanted and needed. So, she decided to do it herself. This month's article provides some tips for senior caregiving that she has discovered in her journey along the way.

Each chapter of her book-Navigating the Journey of Aging Parents (Routledge 2006)--has a different topic and includes Giving Up the Keys, Keeping the Keys, and Moving to a Care Facility. You can order it here.

To Your Family's Wealth, Health, and Happiness!

Bill Deitch	Kirsten Izatt

Attention Professionals: Financial Advisors, Insurance Professionals, CPA's, Senior Service Providers, and People Serving the Special Needs Community.
If you are a professional advisor in the community, and you do not already receive invitations from us to attend educational events hosted by us at our office, please go here to receive invitations.

Make Sure Your Parents Thrive-Not Just Survive
Written by Kirsten Izatt and Cheryl Kuba

Cheryl had lots of specific tips for families who are caring for a senior loved one; here is just a sampling of her wisdom:

1) Give Your Senior a Job . . . Give your senior loved one a job so they feel useful and have a sense of purpose! For example, they can clip coupons and give them to a charity. At some churches, seniors who are shut in fill out birthday cards for parishioners.

2) Use Holidays to Spread Some Love . . . Even though holiday cards have stopped, when another holiday arrives such as Valentine's Day, e-mail everybody you know (and trust!) with your parent's address and telephone number and ask them to give your senior parent a call and provide some good cheer. Ask your elderly dad to tell you the craziest gift or letter he received for the holiday or what was the goofiest thing that would happen. Ask about current events or ask about things that happened in the past that relate to what is happening today-e.g. what was it like when Harry Truman was inaugurated.

3) Start the Conversation . . . The best way is to have a plan and bring the subject matter up before there is a crisis. This advice applies to estate planning, funeral arrangements, where they want to move, and taking away the keys. A good way to do this is ask "How do you feel about" moving in with your daughter, not driving the car, selling your home?

4) Do a Walkabout around the Home . . . Adult children and parents need to walk around the home together and do an assessment. Ask: "What are you going to do if X happens?" Then walk to the other side of the room and ask what is going to happen when you are watering the plant and you slip. Every pilot does a physical walk around the outside of the plane before taking off. Do the same thing around the house. Look for loose carpeting or obstacles that could become hazards. Plus, you've now started another conversation with your aging parent.

5) Enlist the Help of Grandchildren. . . If there isn't much communication to your parent from outside callers, then, make it a project for a grandchild to call the grandparent once a week after school. Ask the grandchild to help put pictures in a photo album or help sort the mail.

6) And Most Importantly . . . involve the elderly in every single decision. Let them have their say. "I may not get my way but at least I get my say." (Michael Popkin, MD). If they have their say, you can meet in the middle!

I hope you have enjoyed Cheryl's tips. If you want to learn more, go to www.agingparentsolutions.com

© 2009 The Estate Planning Law Group.

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Bill Deitch, Personal Family Lawyer

Kirsten Izatt, Personal Family Lawyer

Bill Deitch and Kirsten Izatt's mission is to make a difference in their clients' lives and to be trusted advisors throughout their lifetimes. They are fully committed to providing a lifetime of ongoing legal guidance and counsel to people who want to make the very best decisions about how to protect their families, their values, and their wealth. Bill founded The Estate Planning Law Group in 1997 with an emphasis on estate planning and administration. Kirsten and Bill merged their practices in 2005 when they discovered they shared the same mission and values-including taking care of their clients for life and making a difference in their lives. Together, they hope to leave the world a better place. To learn more about creating a lifetime of prosperity and security for your family, go here.

Day Hikes at the Morton Arboretum. If you need to get out of the house, take advantage of this beautiful destination and go hiking on their beautifully groomed trails. You might even see Kirsten there on her way to "Big Rock" with the kids.

Monthly Family Wealth, Health & Happiness Tele-Conferences. Each month Alexis interviews a guest who will bring insight, knowledge, and helpful tips or solutions to families across the country on a wide variety of topics. Go here to find out details about the next event.

Have You Named Guardians for your Kids? Check out this interview with Alexis Martin Neely, founder of the Family Wealth Planning Institute, on the Today Show where she discusses exactly what you need to do to make sure your children under age 18 are totally protected. Haven't named guardians yet? Give us a call, and we can get you set up with a Kids Protection Plan. There is no excuse to wait any longer. Now, you can go online and name guardians at KidsProtectionPlan.com.

The Last Lecture. Unfortunately Randy Pausch has lost his battle with cancer, but his word lives on in his book, The Last Lecture. His book isn't about dying. It's about "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" It's about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, of seizing every moment (because "time is all you have...and you may find one day that you have less than you think"). It is a summation of everything Randy believed. It is about living. We recommend it.

FDIC Coverage Calculator for Trusts. Many of you have asked about the rules of FDIC coverage for bank accounts held in the name of your trust. To determine how much FDIC coverage your accounts may qualify for, check out this free tool.

Think Empoword! Too much stress in your life? Do something about it! Empoword believes in the power of positive thinking. Surround yourself with the right words, think of them often, and you can manifest real change in your life.

Copyright 2009 The Estate Planning Law Group

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